Paul Versus The Volcano
When I realized there was a Paul Newman movie that I hadn't heard of that was brought to us by Irwin Allen, the producer behind that crapfest The Towering Inferno, I didn't hold out much hope for it. And I was right. Hooray for lowered expectations!
We start out with Jacqueline Bisset and William Holden on a plane. William proposes to Jacqueline, but turns out she's hung up on Paul. William says that Paul's not the marrying kind. Okay, really, dude, that's your argument? Simple question, people, would you rather be William Holden's wife or Paul Newman's long term girlfriend that he can't quite commit to? Thought so. The fact that this is the central character conflict that the film holds on to exemplifies what's wrong with this movie.
It's like this: it's Dallas in a Hawaii with a volcano. Paul Newman is even playing Ray Krebs. There's no life in his performance at all leaving me to stare at the damn cowboy hat he wears for the first part of the film. This is not his finest hour, it could be his worst hour. It feels like he keeps falling back on tricks in this one, like, hey, just trying to make a living here. Which, okay, but it's so much more disappointing when it's Paul Newman because he could do so much better. Obviously not with this craptacular story which he was contractually obligated to do, but you know, with a higher class of volcano movie. I would go on, saying how much is wrong with this movie, like Jacqueline Bisset's horrible haircut, but it's pointless because it's like trying to understand why the Dallas Mavericks don't have an NBA Championship, they were crap from the start.
So, am I wrong? Is this movie so awful it's good or is it just awful? Let me know in the comments section!
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