My Life In Movies Flashes Before My Eyes: Primary Colors, 1998

Primary Colors is quite possibly one of the greatest political films of all time, it typifies politics in the 1990s. It was based on a novel by Anonymous but I think they finally figured out who wrote it. It was directed by Mike Nichols and scripted by Elaine May. The film follows Adrian Lester as Henry Burton, an idealistic young political operative as he works on the primary campaign of Democratic Governor Jack Stanton from a state that's last in everything and has a problem with women. Sound familiar? Know anyone like that?

Well, there's also his wife, Susan, played by Emma Thompson, the power behind the scenes who struggles to turn a blind eye to her husband's infidelities in order to make history. Billy Bob Thornton plays a political operative, along with Maura Tierney and Kathy Bates just about steals the show as an idealistic old friend of Jack and Susan's. Oh, and Larry Hagman as Jack's opponent who may be the "real thing".

The film follows Henry as he slides further and further into a moral vacuum, deciding what he can sanction in order to make history and have an impact on people's lives. Travolta is great in this, so is Emma Thompson. The film is a little episodic as we follow each of Stanton's sex scandals in the primary race, but it features great character moments filled with the mood of the south. I especially like this clip because it exemplifies the world Henry has gotten into.



Also, this is the only film I have ever known to have a Krispy Kreme tie in. They had a Primary Colors doughnut with red, white and blue sprinkles. My brother claims it is his favorite Krispy Kreme of all time. I'm a purist, I like the glazed while they are HOT. There is no damn point in getting them if they are not HOT. There's a scene in the movie that takes place at a Krispy Kreme which really makes you want to forgive Jack for all of his son of a bitch-ness. And of course, there's Kathy Bates, her ending is so great and so emotional it breaks your heart, but here she is earlier in the film. I love how Nichols and May never waste a moment in this film.



So, questions, comments, concerns? Anyone else think of a Krispy Kreme tie in for a film?

My Life In Movies Flashes Before My Eyes: Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, 1997

I decided to let Mike Myers win this year because he just keeps losing to Harrison Ford. I mean, I'm still upset about Shrek 4, what the hell did we need that for? That's the kind of crap you pull on an episode of Star Trek, you can't sustain that for two hours. Okay, so Austin Powers is about a spy with bad teeth and an ungodly amount of chest hair. He has a nemesis, Doctor Evil, who freezes himself so he can come back and have a better shot at world domination. So, Austin freezes himself in 1967, comes back in 1997 and finds that the world has changed. Like a lot. The film follows him as he teams up with his new partner, Vanessa Kensington, played by Elizabeth Hurley, who is really great in this film and so much better than just a model who's in a movie. She's not afraid to be nerdy or uncool. This is also clearly not the most intellectual film I have ever chosen for this, but I like it anyway.

One of the best parts of the film is the way it follows the relationship of Doctor Evil and his son, Scott, played brilliantly by Seth Green, as they attempt to have a relationship.



I also love the way the film uses the tropes of the spy genre to create humor in the film. Witness Doctor Evil try to come up with an evil plan, not knowing the events of the previous thirty years.


Mike Myers' own love of the James Bond series really translates here, with some silliness and the trademark absurdity of Wayne's World thrown in. This movie is so funny the deleted scenes are worth showing. For example, have you ever wondered what happens to the henchman's family when he gets killed?


By the way, does anybody know why in movies the henchmen always keep fighting the hero after their boss is dead? I mean, if I was a henchman and I was fighting James Bond and my boss died, so I wasn't go to get paid, I would just leave. Questions, comments, concerns? You know where they go.

My Life In Movies Flashes Before My Eyes: The Rock, 1996

This could be the only time I praise Michael Bay in this blog, like ever. It also might be one of the few times I praise Jerry Bruckheimer, you see, Jerry, I just don't need multiple films about pirates from a theme park ride. Anyway, the film in question is The Rock, and it's an action film but what distinguishes it from the rot that characterizes the genre today is that it's not about franchises or robots blowing up, there's an actual script and that script has something called a story, not just an excuse for explosions. Also, it's before Nicolas Cage started making a lot of crap.

The idea is this: some Marines have taken over Alcatraz led by Ed Harris, joined by David Morse and Tony Todd. I only mention Tony Todd because he played Old Jake Sisko in the saddest, greatest Deep Space Nine EVER, The Visitor and this is my blog so I can mention stuff like that if I want. I'll even show a clip if I want.



In this movie though, Captain Sisko would not be proud of him. They holding the leaders of the US hostage with VX Poison Gas, which looks like green bath pearls but will kill you and melt your skin. They want to get money for the families of Marines who go on secret illegal missions and get disavowed by the government. I think they should have had a bake sale. Anyway, so they take Alcatraz in this scene and threaten to gas San Francisco.



See? Ed Harris has a heart. So, they call in chemical expert Nicolas Cage, a scientist more comfortable with his Beatles LPs than fighting terrorists and Sean Connery, who is an MI6 agent that's been imprisoned by the US, disavowed by his own government and is basically leading the life James Bond would lead if he ever got caught. See, he's the only man who's ever escaped Alcatraz, so naturally they need him. This leads to trouble as he attempts to escape on the streets of San Francisco in an amazing car chase sequence and oh, yeah when all the Navy SEALS get killed and Connery and Cage are forced to work together to save San Francisco. Naturally, hijinx ensue.

There's great chemistry in this film, it's brilliantly cast. I love the Cage-Connery teaming up, I even love the hero villain face off between Connery and Harris as follows:


Also, I love this scene towards the end of the film. It really shows how good Nicolas Cage was before he started making crap and not paying the IRS.


Oh, as a tip of you go to Alcatraz and love this movie, try to go with someone who will know what you're referencing when you stand by the cell (they don't let you go in like in the movie) and start doing the speech from that film. Did I go to Alcatraz because of this movie? Yes. Yes, I did. There's a place by the boat dock that makes a breakfast pizza if you're interested. The audio tour also does not feature film clips like it should. Just a suggestion to the Park Service. That's all.

My Life In Movies Flashes Before My Eyes: GoldenEye, 1995

I want to take you back to a time and a place where I did not know much about James Bond. The world was about to get a new 007 in Pierce Brosnan and I had never had one to start with. So, one November night, I went with my mom and brother to see GoldenEye. Then I went back the same weekend with my dad because somehow I saw every Pierce Brosnan Bond film in the theaters more than one time. Seriously.


Now, I know what you want to say. Sean Connery is the greatest Bond ever, right? But there's a difference between the best Bond and my Bond and Pierce Brosnan is undoubtedly my Bond. You see, after Timothy Dalton (a.k.a. Rassilon) took the franchise to the edge of dramatic destruction with his uber-seriousness and total inability to execute a punchline, Brosnan brought the franchise back into the world of humor, though not quite into the world of the ridiculousness that Roger Moore ocassionally took it to. I mean, they were in space, people. There was a laser fight in space. And George Lazenby, I mean what a freaking catastrophe. And I know someone out there is rooting for Daniel Craig, but I can never get over him being blond and also, he's too touchy feely sometimes. To me, Brosnan strikes the right line because this is a new post Cold War era Bond so he can't go around smacking secretaries on the ass, but we still want him to kill people.

But, the first thing you need for a great Bond film, well, after a great James Bond is a great James Bond theme song and this one has one with Tina Turner written by Bono and The Edge. BONO AND THE EDGE. You know, from U2? Did I ever mention I love U2? And it's awesome.


Then, of course, we have the new M played by Dame Judi Dench. And you don't want to screw with the new M.


What else? We have the cars, although Bond controversially drives a BMW Z3. I must say I used to like the Z3. Now, I'm about to sound like a presenter on Top Gear, but every middle aged man having a midlife crisis bought a Z3 and then the Z4, so it's just not cool anymore. Aston Martin, still cool, but they only get like seven miles to the gallon. Well, at least that's done. We have the villain, 006, played by Sean Bean who I knew not to trust. Also, Famke Janssen as Xenia Onatopp, one of the most bizarre Bond villainesses ever. There's a plot in there, but while you need a decent plot for James Bond, it's more about the getting there, unless the plot is just so stupid you can't ignore how stupid it is. I will say the low point of this film is the main Bond girl, Natalya Simonova, because she does the whole thing where she whines about him going around, killing people, do we really need that? The whining? Joe Don Baker as a slightly crazy CIA agent, Robbie Coltrane as an old adversary of Bond's and oh, yeah, Minnie Driver in the greatest James Bond cameo ever, singing Stand By Your Man with a Russian accent. I seriously get angry when they cut that part out on TV, as if we don't need it. We do! Oh, my favorite sequence in this film is undoubtedly the tank chase through the streets of St. Petersburg. Of course, now would be a good time for either a clip of Minnie Driver or the tank chase, but once again, YouTube says no. Bastards.

And now come after me with your James Bond opinions.

My Life In Movies Flashes Before My Eyes: The Lion King, 1994

So, The Lion King. I know this must seem in the sequence of films we've had so far, but I love it. I haven't been able to watch it, though, because all the copies have vanished off the face of the Earth in anticipation of a 3D release and a new release on DVD in November, so I have to go off what I remember and what I can find on YouTube. So, Disney corporate, that's my excuse for the clips, okay?

The first thing is the amazing opening sequence that shows you the splendor of the African landscape and creatures. This is a world unto itself and the scene has no dialogue, but for the Circle of Life song, the first in a brilliant soundtrack by Elton John and Tim Rice. Incidentally, I have a distant relative called Abaku who was in The Lion King on Broadway. I'm not sure if that's how you spell it, anyway, distant. The scene is fantastic, it's giving you the entire stakes of the film and mesmerizing you at the same time.


Then of course, we have some joyous, happy time but this is Disney and that can never last. I'm talking about Mufasa's death.

I cried, you cried let's just all admit it. I do not like death scenes, Disney is trying to give me serious psychological scars. Also, does it seem like as king of the animals, Mufasa probably should have just yelled at the wildebeests to stop for a minute while he got his kid? Any future lion kings, just keep that in mind.

Then, what do they do? They give you a warthog and a meerkat singing quite possibly the catchiest tune ever.


At its core, this song exemplifies the challenge Simba is going to face. Is he going to keep on with his carefree lifestyle and stand idly by as Scar rules the kingdom into ruin and decay? Or is he going to defeat the demons of his past, step up and become the Lion King? I think I just seriously over analyzed that.


And we have another lion king. And I cry. Again. Freaking Circle of Life, making me cry. Let's see what the Tenth Doctor has to say about it.


What else? Seriously, Rowan Atkinson plays a bird. You've got great performances, an epic story. One of my favorites, comments, concerns, that's what the comments section is for.