My Life In Movies Flashes Before My Eyes: My Big Fat Greek Wedding, 2002

Okay, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, obviously, the most successful independent film of all time. It s written by and starring Nia Vardalos, obviously an icon of Greek female screenwriters the world over along with Tina Fey. I could be the only one trying to make this a group, but what do you want from me? I need role models. Vardalos wrote this screenplay, then performed a one woman show based on it, which another Greek woman called Rita Wilson went to see. She's married to someone called Tom Hanks, who's this guy who does stuff... Anyway, they made the movie, it made millions and was awesome.


The story is classic and that's why it works. Vardalos plays Toula, a thirty year old Greek woman who works at the family restaurant and has failed in the eyes of her family because she remains unmarried. Toula knows her life sucks, but isn't sure how to change it until she decides to take some computer classes and this kicks off her transformation as she trades up to contact lenses, a more polished wardrobe and miraculously non-frizzy Greek hair. This isn't a plot point or anything, I, having similarly textured hair, wonder what product she is using. No, really, tell me. She also meets a guy played by John Corbett and falls in love. Conflict arises when it is discovered he is not Greek and also- gasp- vegetarian.

By the way, ever taken anyone who is a vegetarian and doesn't eat cheese to a Greek restaurant? The waitress will be confused. So confused.

Anyway, the best part of this movie is the family, which Vardalos bases on her own and that's why it works, that's why it was such a success. I love Toula's mom and aunt, I could probably watch two hours of them just talking. I love the stuff with her brother and cousin ganging up on Ian as well. Ian's WASP parents are hilarious, too, as they consume more and more Ouzo, falling deeper into the rabbit hole that is Toula's family.

The film is basically Toula's evolution and I don't just mean the hair thing. She goes from seeing her family as a weight on her shoulders to people who love her and want the best for her, but they can only do that if she takes the first step. She finally realizes what was holding her back wasn't being Greek but herself, which is a good lesson for us all.

My own personal tip is to never watch this movie hungry. The first time I saw it was my twentieth birthday, I went with a big group of my friends after a trip to one of my favorite places in AtlantaAthens Pizza House on Clairmont Road. Seriously, I got recognized on sight I was there so much. It wasn't that different from the diner Toula's family owns in the movie, Mom clearly ran the place, an assortment of Greek waitstaff and so much delicious food. Anyway, after a birthday dinner of Moussaka (which is my personal favorite as well as being featured in the film. Personally, if someone would like to put it in my lunchbox, I am all for it) and probably dessert (Kataifi is my favorite) I went to this movie and was still hungry, a process repeated every time I watch this movie. Is that just me? The Greek food craving is just too much.

Questions, comments? Favorite Greek foods? Mine include all of them, I have yet to find something at the Greek restaurant I don't like. Let me know in the comments section.

Made Then Remade: Solaris, 1972 and 2002

First, my apologies for the lag between posts. The Austin Film Festival deadline was the other night and I have been trapped in front of my computer writing other stuff. Also, you know, this is a hard movie.


Basically, the story is about Kris Kelvin, a psychiatrist who is summoned to a space station orbiting a planet called Solaris where the crew is going crazy. The crew is going crazy because they see dead people, which Kris discovers after he wakes up to see his wife, Rhea, who killed herself. This freaks him out and complications arise.



I tried to be a good blogger, I really did, I attempted to watch the original Solaris by Soviet director Andrei Tarkovsky. To be fair, I did watch it once in 2002, in anticipation of the remake with George Clooney. Well, watch? Okay, remember this was the days of video and I am a very fast reader and this movie has subtitles. So, once I realized there were going to be long shots of highways and pond water, I hit fast forward and then started reading the subtitles. Good enough. I'm sorry, I just can't. I don't get it. Same problem this time, I just started reading the Think Geek catalog.



Then, I saw the remake. I wouldn't call that film accessible. It was directed by Steven Soderbergh, produced by James Cameron and starred George Clooney and I am not sure any of those guys knew what was going on in it. I spent quite some time trying to figure out what the hell it all meant, read the script, listened to the commentary and nothing. And you know, here's a personal tip, if you get a FREE TICKET for your friend and she has to talk to her boyfriend instead of you on the way to the movie (and on the way back) and then starts rolling her eyes and sighing twenty minutes in, you should really evaluate the amount of time you spend with that person because someday it will make sense. I think you should apply this to anyone you know who has to check in with a significant other every two hours. I feel that's fair.

However, the friends you do want are the ones who will watch this movie with you and try to figure out what it means at your behest. This resulted in one particularly memorable viewing of the film, where alcohol was consumed, (because, yeah, that will help you figure it out) and we basically talked through the whole thing as we tried to utilize our second semester, Junior year, higher education, to try to figure out what this meant. At the end, Ginny came up with about as good a theory as any when she said, "So, the planet is God?" I think that met with the approval of the room and we all had more cookies.

I like to think the film has a meaning, I just don't know what. Basically, the thing could have been a great Doctor Who episode. You know, the Doctor goes to a weird planet and starts seeing a bunch of dead Time Lords who are mad at him. Stuff happens, the universe is at stake, I'm not writing this for you Doctor Who staff. If you would like me to write this for you, please feel free to contact me. The author of the novel says that both films missed the point, it was about encountering something bigger than humanity can conceive, (Yes, Ginny, I guess you're right) and this is the problem. You can't do a remake of a film of a book that apparently the original filmmakers didn't understand. It won't work because no one understands what's going on. Even if you liked it, you still couldn't say what happened: "Uh, George Clooney's wife is dead, but she's not and there's this planet and it's alive? Maybe? It also might be God. WHAT HAPPENED?!"

The most serious problem appears to be Rhea. As in, what is her problem? Why does she want to kill herself? This seems to be a problem that the filmmakers care very little about, she's just some crazy woman. I hate to play the gender bias card, but yes, I am playing it.

The problem is you can't just make a movie that only you understand. I hate to semi-quote Spike Lee, only because he usually says things that piss me off, but film isn't like painting. You can't just make a bunch of canvasses that only you understand, you need other people to get what you were trying to say and I don't, I so clearly don't. I do like Cliff Martinez's soundtrack, though, it's nice to fall asleep to. See, there's only so long you can drag people along without letting them know what's happening or providing some explanation and Solaris far exceeds this time, since it's been about nine years for the newer one. Sorry for the rubbish blog post. I'll do better next time.

So, if you know what's going on or are with the Doctor Who hiring office, let me know what you think in the comments' section.