Made Then Remade: Solaris, 1972 and 2002

First, my apologies for the lag between posts. The Austin Film Festival deadline was the other night and I have been trapped in front of my computer writing other stuff. Also, you know, this is a hard movie.


Basically, the story is about Kris Kelvin, a psychiatrist who is summoned to a space station orbiting a planet called Solaris where the crew is going crazy. The crew is going crazy because they see dead people, which Kris discovers after he wakes up to see his wife, Rhea, who killed herself. This freaks him out and complications arise.



I tried to be a good blogger, I really did, I attempted to watch the original Solaris by Soviet director Andrei Tarkovsky. To be fair, I did watch it once in 2002, in anticipation of the remake with George Clooney. Well, watch? Okay, remember this was the days of video and I am a very fast reader and this movie has subtitles. So, once I realized there were going to be long shots of highways and pond water, I hit fast forward and then started reading the subtitles. Good enough. I'm sorry, I just can't. I don't get it. Same problem this time, I just started reading the Think Geek catalog.



Then, I saw the remake. I wouldn't call that film accessible. It was directed by Steven Soderbergh, produced by James Cameron and starred George Clooney and I am not sure any of those guys knew what was going on in it. I spent quite some time trying to figure out what the hell it all meant, read the script, listened to the commentary and nothing. And you know, here's a personal tip, if you get a FREE TICKET for your friend and she has to talk to her boyfriend instead of you on the way to the movie (and on the way back) and then starts rolling her eyes and sighing twenty minutes in, you should really evaluate the amount of time you spend with that person because someday it will make sense. I think you should apply this to anyone you know who has to check in with a significant other every two hours. I feel that's fair.

However, the friends you do want are the ones who will watch this movie with you and try to figure out what it means at your behest. This resulted in one particularly memorable viewing of the film, where alcohol was consumed, (because, yeah, that will help you figure it out) and we basically talked through the whole thing as we tried to utilize our second semester, Junior year, higher education, to try to figure out what this meant. At the end, Ginny came up with about as good a theory as any when she said, "So, the planet is God?" I think that met with the approval of the room and we all had more cookies.

I like to think the film has a meaning, I just don't know what. Basically, the thing could have been a great Doctor Who episode. You know, the Doctor goes to a weird planet and starts seeing a bunch of dead Time Lords who are mad at him. Stuff happens, the universe is at stake, I'm not writing this for you Doctor Who staff. If you would like me to write this for you, please feel free to contact me. The author of the novel says that both films missed the point, it was about encountering something bigger than humanity can conceive, (Yes, Ginny, I guess you're right) and this is the problem. You can't do a remake of a film of a book that apparently the original filmmakers didn't understand. It won't work because no one understands what's going on. Even if you liked it, you still couldn't say what happened: "Uh, George Clooney's wife is dead, but she's not and there's this planet and it's alive? Maybe? It also might be God. WHAT HAPPENED?!"

The most serious problem appears to be Rhea. As in, what is her problem? Why does she want to kill herself? This seems to be a problem that the filmmakers care very little about, she's just some crazy woman. I hate to play the gender bias card, but yes, I am playing it.

The problem is you can't just make a movie that only you understand. I hate to semi-quote Spike Lee, only because he usually says things that piss me off, but film isn't like painting. You can't just make a bunch of canvasses that only you understand, you need other people to get what you were trying to say and I don't, I so clearly don't. I do like Cliff Martinez's soundtrack, though, it's nice to fall asleep to. See, there's only so long you can drag people along without letting them know what's happening or providing some explanation and Solaris far exceeds this time, since it's been about nine years for the newer one. Sorry for the rubbish blog post. I'll do better next time.

So, if you know what's going on or are with the Doctor Who hiring office, let me know what you think in the comments' section.

Made Then Remade: Ocean's Eleven 1960 & 2001

Some things are regarded as sacred. Take Frank Sinatra for example. My good friend, Layla, views Frank and all his works as sacrosanct, not to be dared attempted. Indeed, the man is a hero to many. One of my favorite episodes of The Sopranos is where Carmela and Tony extoll Frank Sinatra as one of the greatest Italians who ever lived along with Christopher Columbus and Michaelangelo. Yet, why do people attempt to imitate Frank Sinatra? George Clooney has his part in this movie, Denzel Washington has his part in the remake of The Manchurian Candidate and why the hell did his son ever attempt to have a musical career? Your dad was FRANK SINATRA, for crying out loud! You could have been the coolest accountant ever, instead you chose to be the singer who will always be remembered as never quite as good as your dad. And what the hell is Nancy's deal? Okay, time to stop the rant about the Sinatra kids.





That brings us to Ocean's Eleven. Now, time to confess my affinity for George Clooney, except the guy keeps ending up with cocktail waitresses. Whatever, you can't handle me... Any chance to watch George Clooney in a gleaming, shiny anything I am pretty much up for so when this came out I was all for it. Now, as for the original, I too, hold an interest in Frank Sinatra, but I respect his singing far more than his acting because that was where he tried the hardest. Sinatra was a good actor when he wanted it like in From Here To Eternity, but other times he was just going through the motions or seeing how little he could get by with, the latter being the case in this film. Not that he didn't have cause because he had spread himself quite thin. Sinatra and the rest of the Rat Pack (Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Peter Lawford and Joey Bishop, can't believe you didn't know...) were also performing two shows a night at the Sands in Las Vegas and campaigning for John F. Kennedy. If you believe the HBO movie The Rat Pack, Frank was also setting Jack up with the same call girl Momo Giancana slept with and also having Giancana buy all the union votes in Chicago. Have the Sinatra and Kennedy estates called for a cease and desist order yet? So, the movie has some legends surrounding it to say the least and the legacy of the fim probably owes mainly to this because it's certainly not about the film itself.

The plots are similar and that's about it. Sinatra's Ocean plots with his army buddies to rob a group of Las Vegas casinos on New Year's Eve by knocking out the power. Clooney's Ocean plots with a gang of thieves to rob three Las Vegas casinos on the night of a big boxing match, those casinos owned by the new boyfriend of Danny's ex-wife, Tess, played by Julia Roberts. Sinatra's movie has a wife, too, played by Angie Dickinson and I have no idea why she's in it at all. He's Frank Sinatra so he has no problem playing at getting his wife back while he carouses with other women, seriously. There's also a big part for Peter Lawford with some sort of mother issues, that could probably best be explained by his being JFK's brother-in-law and finding the script. No, not really a big fan of Lawford. Then Sammy Davis Jr. does a song...



No songs in the other one. And I think it also has a stronger supporting cast including Carl Reiner, Don Cheadle, Matt Damon and the late great Bernie Mac. There's the other issue which is that Ted Griffin's script for the 2001 version is actually a much stronger story, with a clear antagonist, a reason for the ex-wife being there and lots of fun moments. I actually have no idea what is going on most of the time in the original. Do we need this money or what? The 1960 version doesn't have a lot of fun to it except when Dino sings and is full of guys lamenting that they're going to rob a casino. We're not doing Hamlet here, people! It's just a heist movie. Actually, if you watch David Tennant do Hamlet there is way more funny in that than than the entirety of the 1960 Ocean's Eleven. Now, the movie relies heavily upon Steven Soderbergh's intensely stylized direction, but once again, not doing Hamlet here so it's fine. So, I'm going to risk really pissing off Layla and saying that I like the 2001 version much more than the 1960 version.

Then they made Ocean's Twelve and I would like to go ahead and pick a bone here. The ending makes no sense! Eddie Izzard builds holograms? Is that even a thing? Tess looks like Julia Roberts, WTF? If Tess looks like Julia Roberts, then Danny and Rusty should stop stealing things and just rely on the fact that they look like George Clooney and Brad Pitt and instead open credit cards in their names. They more or less saved their legacy with Ocean's Thirteen, which in the end pays tribute to Sinatra, as Clooney says to the villain Al Pacino after his comeuppance, "You shook Sinatra's hand. You should know better, Willy." And of course this musical moment...



So, do you agree with Layla that I've lost my mind and think the original is perfect in every way? Or are you with me and think the 2001 edition is decidedly better? Tell me you at least agree with me about Ocean's Twelve. Let loose in the comments section.