My Life In Movies Flashes Before My Eyes: Gladiator, 2000

I can't believe that I have never written about this film before. It's GLADIATOR! The best movie ever! Okay, maybe ever is an overstatement. But I've seen this so many times, I could probably do a one woman stage production of it. Is that something people would pay to see you think? I mean, I've bored everyone I know with it, I've watched it in Spanish, had multiple posters, I've got the really expensive DVD with the trivia track on it. This movie is great because it delivers what it promises. It's simple, but it's not stupid. This is a movie about a guy who wants revenge, that's what it says it is, that's what happens.



Okay, so in case you were on Mars or something for the early part of the 2000s, this film stars Russell Crowe as Maximus Decimus Meridius, a general of the Roman army on the eve of victory against German savages. If you know anything about the history of Rome, you can pretty much guess that they win. On the scene arrives Commodus played by Joaquin Phoenix and Lucilla played by Connie Nielsen. At this time I would like to point out that Connie Nielsen has been paid money to make out with Russell Crowe and Christopher Meloni and this just seems unjust to me. Also in this film is Richard Harris as the emperor, Oliver Reed as the owner of Maximus' gladiator dorm or whatever and Djimon Hounsou as Maximus' co-gladiator. Okay, so Commodus kills his dad, Dumbledore, then he sets out to kill Maximus, has Maximus' family killed and generally pisses him off. Maximus is grieved by the loss of his wife and son and has to find a reason to live, namely to kill Commodus. So, he becomes a Gladiator in the hopes that one day he's good enough to get in front of Commodus so he can shank him. Hey, we all need goals. It goes like this:



One of the best things about this film is the performance that Russell Crowe gives and not just because he worked himself into being Gladiator-shape after having just done The Insider, which you should watch. Anyway, it's the layers he gives his characters, lots of people do action hero out for revenge on man who murdered his family, but with him you get the genuine loss and longing and a man struggling with his own destiny. I also love the chemistry between he and Lucilla.



Joaquin Phoenix is an exceptional baddie, again giving his character some pathos, not just a cartoon villain. See this would be the difference between this film and that crap Spartacus on Starz: NUANCE, CHARACTERIZATION, A REMOTELY BELIEVABLE PLOT LINE. Just don't even try to watch that as a substitute for Rome, you will end up feeling more deprived than when you began. Anyway, Ridley Scott did an excellent job with this, not that you need me to tell you that. I love the different visual styles for each location, the fight scenes are incredible and I do love the ending even though it makes me cry. Although, I am pretty convinced Maximus should have survived that shanking because it sort of looks like Commodus hit kidney. I've had this debate with people about forty times, I realize it would ruin the ending if he lived, but it looks like kidney. If it was his lung, he would have been passed out before the end of that scene. Also, the Hans Zimmer score with accompaniment on vocals by Lisa Gerrard is fantastic.

And now your Gladiator complaints. Which I will ignore. Also accepting your Maximus shanking wound comments.

My Life In Movies Flashes Before My Eyes: Blade Runner, 1982

So, at the beginning of May Fandango Groovers Movie Blog issued a challenge. Pick your favorite movie for every year since the year you were born. Fandango Groovers A Life In Movies

Sounded like fun, but I didn't quite have time to do it and I had to of course, compile a list. So, here's what I'm going to do. I turn 29 (don't remind me) on September 1. So, throughout the course of this summer, I am going to go through my favorite movies from 1982 to 2011 and give you my impressions of them. Now, this is favorite not the best, which will become very apparent at some points. Sometimes I will pick something that was clearly not the best film of that year, but happens to be my favorite and you will just have to deal with that.

Starting here. 1982. The Falklands War, EPCOT opens, I am born and several weeks later my parents take me to see Pink Floyd: The Wall. If only that explained everything. Some other decent movies also came out this year: E.T., Gandhi and Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, which almost made this post, but in the end I decided on this one. But that film is still completely awesome.


Blade Runner is the story of Rick Deckard, played by Harrison Ford, who is a sort of bounty hunter for Replicants, sort of doing a whole film noir thing in a post-apocalyptic Los Angeles. Usually, I'm terrified of post-apocalyptic scenarios but this one is okay because there still appears to be Coca Cola available. Anyway, Harrison is out hunting a group of Replicants that have bizarrely come to Earth because Replicants are illegal on Earth and he has to kill them, but it's not supposed to matter because they're not people. Or are they?

So, he goes to the Tyrell Corporation where he meets Rachel, a Replicant who doesn't know she's a Replicant because they've given her the memory implants of the CEO's niece. So, it's like the Ganger episode of Doctor Who with the Library episode of Doctor Who with maybe a little bit of The Island in there. This starts Harrison questioning everything, whether or not they're people and that's the central question of this film: what makes a human being? This question becomes more profound as we follow the other Replicants on Earth, two of whom are played by Rutger Hauer and Daryl Hannah with alternate terror and heartbreak. It's brilliant. Also, can I just mention, if science fiction has taught us anything it's that building/cloning/lobotomizing people/things and making them your slaves is BAD. Hear me, future generations? BAD!

Now, I just rewatched the theatrical cut which is controversial because it has this annoying voiceover that it doesn't really need. Unless you're an idiot. I don't know, maybe you are, but you'd be unlikely to know you were an idiot... There are at least two other cuts I can think of and you can buy a big DVD box set with all of them, including I don't know how many Ridley Scott director's cuts. This makes you wonder what the hell it all means. Last year at the Austin Film Festival, one of the honorees was one of this film's writers, David Peoples was there and at the awardee panel, another honoree, Robert Rodriguez saved me the embarassment of asking about that when he asked, "Yeah, which version is right? Was he really a Replicant?" To which David Peoples said that this film still isn't finished. Which I kind of like, but I can see how that might be frustrating.

Also, you can actually buy the umbrellas from this movie at Think Geek! I am considering it if it ever rains in Texas again.

Blade Runner Style LED Umbrella