Back To School Special: Animal House, 1978

I decided that the last two posts were on pretty depressing tear fests. This selection is calculated to break that pattern. Animal House is the archetypal movie about college life and for good reason: it is damned funny. Parts are crass and tasteless, but who needs taste when we're talking about comedy? The basic plot you're probably familiar with because every film about a frat or a sorority ever since has been based upon it. It's iconic for a reason. There are so many things that ring true still about college, like Donald Sutherland's stoned hippie professor who sleeps with a student. (Every college has at least one of those, right?) The students who appear to have no major. It was directed by John Landis, written by Harold Ramis, Douglas Kenney and Chris Miller, deriving inspiration from their actual college experiences, particularly from Dartmouth. The only thing approaching a film long plot line is Stephen Furst as Flounder, a Freshman trying to find his way in the flat. (Nerd alert: He was Vir on Babylon 5). So, I think it's better if I just do the highlights.

Obviously, TOGA! Our heroes faced with insurmountable odds throw a party that will help nothing, doing one of my favorite bits with Otis Day and the Knights. Seriously, I do enjoy this for no reason. I even get excited when they play it at the Spurs game, but of course they usually do that when we're up by ten...


It also leads to this bit, where some of the guys after a foray to a women's college take their dates to a nightclub because Otis Day and the Knights are playing. They discover to their surprise and chagrin that the people are all black. Being white Ivy League boys, they are terrified.


Of course, this scene is when they're on trial and Otter, played slickly and brilliantly by Tim Matheson, gives possibly the greatest defense ever conceived.


One of the greatest parts of this movie is John Belushi, I love the way he goes through the film with so little dialogue, but when he speaks it's worth listening to such as this speech he gives when it appears all hope has been lost for Delta House.

He along with Bruce McGill (San Antonio native, also University of Texas alum) as Daniel Simpson Day have the greatest, dialogue light parts in this film.

About the ending of this film, after the hilarious and brilliantly executed homecoming parade, it concludes with telling us what happened to each of the characters. Now craft tip, if you do this in fiction, it sucks everywhere but the ending of this movie. Filmmakers need to stop ending movies not based on a true story with title cards telling us what happened to the characters! You are either finished with the movie or you're not! Also, stop ending movies where I obviously know what happened the same way as in, "George Washington went on to lead the Continental Army and was later elected the First President of the United States." That's not an actual example, I just can't remember an actual one right now. The only possible exception is when it is funny like this movie.

By the way, John Landis babysat Donald Sutherland's son. That's right, Kiefer. Imagine being able to walk around saying, "I babysat Jack Bauer." I would have a bumper sticker that says that.

My Life In Movies Flashes Before My Eyes: Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, 2006

I have an odd relationship with NASCAR. My family watches it, I really have no interest, they dragged me along to the Atlanta Motor Speedway one time and I did homework. Yet since it happens around me, I get it through osmosis, like when I discovered most people do not try to clean their tires in slow traffic on the interstate or when I watched Cars and knew Lightning McQueen was going to blow up his tires when he only stopped for gas at the pit stop. I don't want to know these things, yet I do. This may seem like an out of the blue selection, but this is the finest film about NASCAR ever, even better than cars. It stars Will Ferrell as the out of control Ricky Bobby as he deals with setbacks following the arrival of French race car driver Jean Girard played by Sacha Baron Cohen. It also features Jane Lynch as his mom in a really great performance. Gary Cole, Michael Clarke Duncan, John C. Reilly, Molly Shannon, Leslie Bibb, Jack McBrayer and Amy Adams round out the cast.

It has the basic sports movie tropes with Ricky Bobby starting out on top of NASCAR. I've got to say Will Ferrell really nails NASCAR driver for some reason, something about his voice or the conviction in it as he says ridiculous things or maybe it's the now famous grace scene.

Or it ciuld be that the man seems to own sports movie. I also like Semi-Pro, right up until the part where the San Antonio Spurs lose. I keep trying to get them to have a Mega Bowl at the AT&T Center, but nobody's going for it. Anyway, Ricky Bobby loses his confidence and everything else and is pretty much about to hit bottom here in my favorite clip.

Ricky Bobby has to make a ridiculous journey back to the top, complete with learning to drive a live cougar, finding a new girl in Amy Adams and racing Jean Girard to the finish line on foot, which is a great scene that Carl Edwards later emulated in the clip below. There's really too much good in this movie to tell you everything. My favorite part of that whole sequence though is the Applebee's commercial in the middle of the wreck between Ricky Bobby and Jean Girard.

Anyway, let me know what you think. Questions, comments, Mega Bowl plans?

My Life in Movies Flashes Before My Eyes: The Fugitive, 1993

For 1993, I have selected one of the truly greatest thrillers of all time. I feel like I say that a lot, but in this case it is definitely true. Rationally, a film based on an old TV show shouldn't be this good, but it is.

The Fugitive is the story of Richard Kimble, an escaped fugitive, jailed for the murder of his wife, which he didn't commit. It's equally the story of U.S. Marshal, Deputy Sam Gerard, played by Tommy Lee Jones, who won an Oscar for this performance and is also a fellow San Antonio Spurs fan. You may not feel like you needed to know that, but I dare you to find a Lakers fan who would have done a better job. The supporting cast is rounded out by Sela Ward, Samuel L. Jackson's wife, G'Kar from Babylon 5, Ralph Cifaretto and Sue Sylvester.


Anyway, this movie is all about the chase and I've always found the dynamic interesting because while Kimble is clever and heroic, Gerard definitely gets the best lines in the film. Even though he's chasing our hero, he's not a baddie, he's just a man with a job to do. The difference between a man on a mission and a man with a job to do is at the crux of the argument of the film, as exemplified in this scene following a great chase sequence through a dam.


The film also makes excellent use of the city of Chicago. You really feel like Kimble's lost in it and it adds a lot of atmosphere to what otherwise might take place in any city. The chase in the subway, the cop atmosphere, the scene in the prison. Note the excellent St. Patrick's Day parade sequence, a last minute addition to the shoot.


It's about as perfect a film as you can get, all about the cat and mouse game being played by Kimble and Gerard. They're opposing forces headed towards each other and you just wonder how it's all going to turn out. It is one perfect chase after another and what's great is you don't feel like it's just another chase sequence and there's a story, not just running. Great action and great characters and a great story. And again, Sam Gerard has the best lines ever. Basically, everything he says during the course of the film.

I know I picked The Fugitive, but I feel like I would be remiss if I didn't show you Charlton Heston in Wayne's World 2.


Comments on The Fugitive, your favorite Sam Gerard lines? Well, that would be what the comments section is for.

Made Then Remade: The Thomas Crown Affair, 1968 & 1999

Obviously, it's been a while since my last post for which I apologize. I would like a moment to explain. First, an oversaturation of Paul Newman which I never knew could happen, but apparently it did. I'm still baffled. Second, a series of migraine attacks, which if you don't know suck. Like really suck. Third, the San Antonio Spurs and the NBA Playoffs. The mourning period attached to said playoffs and the reaffirmation of my new hatred for the Memphis Grizzlies. Fourth, I got sucked into Doctor Who. If you want my opinion read on and otherwise skip to the next paragraph: Eccleston sucks, Tennant is awesome, Smith is pretty good, I think Rose is way too stupid to be travelling through time, I don't trust that River Song chick, the new Daleks look like Dyson vacuums and I really want to see an episode about Space Florida. Like, what happened? Did Florida get rebuilt in Space? Why? Are there mosquitoes?

Okay, so that brings us to our new topic: Remakes. I feel there are two basic results for a remake. The first is what is conventionally thought by most serious film people: they're a travesty and sacrilege and the actors from the first film are rolling over in their graves. The second? They end up being quite good because we realize the first film wasn't that great to start with.




That is what I think is the case with the film in question. I'm going to admit some biases now. First, Steve McQueen: not my favorite. Second, Faye Dunaway: not my favorite. Third, Pierce Brosnan: favorite. Fourth, Rene Russo: favorite. By the way, I was wondering what happened to her and apparently she's Thor's mom or something. Hollywood is not kind.

So, The Thomas Crown Affair has the same plot in both films. Thomas Crown is a bored rich guy who steals things for fun. He gets investigated by a a sexy insurance investigator with an amazing wardrobe. And that is pretty much what they share. That and a song that will get stuck in your head FOR DAYS, possibly weeks. It also won an Academy Award. Never try to figure out what the lyrics mean, don't even attempt it.

But here's the thing that puzzles me. There are a lot of similarities between our two Thomas Crowns, but to me, Steve McQueen comes off like a bored rich asshole who needs Ritalin. Pierce Brosnan, not so much. Remember, this film was in the height of his James Bod days. Remember back when James Bond wasn't blond? My God, I hate Daniel Craig in that part. Why is he so hung up on that Vesper chick? I've wandered off topic again. Then again this could be because Steve steals money with a gun, which he doesn't need, but Pierce steals a Monet in a really clever way. They are a lot the same, they even say the same lines, however I really hate McQueen. If somebody could pin down why I hate Steve McQueen, I would appreciate it.

Then there are their leading ladies. Faye Dunaway is still not my favorite actress, but I found I didn't mind her too much. As mentioned, she and Rene Russo both have fabulous wardrobes, though I think Faye wore too many pairs of white tights. I mean, what was that about? I never saw that on Mad Men. Wait, is that next season? Stupid AMC. Rene Russo's wardrobe was designed by Michael Kors and she has an Hermes tote. How much do I love an Hermes tote? Both of the wardrobes are pretty amazing. Then the women are pretty cool. Faye was a symbol of the just burgeoning Feminist movement and social change. Rene is the other side of the coin, a working woman who finds herself somewhat disillusioned by the promises of feminism and the sexual revolution. Also, Rene is about the same age as Pierce in their film, Steve and Faye are eleven years apart, the former of which was noted at the time.

Central to both is the love story, which at times, doesn't seem much like one. Take the damn chess scene in the original. Okay, I get it. The chess is a metaphor for sex, sex is a metaphor for the game they're playing, why are we sitting here for days sucking on chess pieces and what is with the stupid kiss with the 360 degree thing going on? I feel like I'm saying this a lot, but we're not doing Shakespeare here. There's no need to be so damn dramatic. (I would have given you a clip, but apparently the scene is too damn precious to be on YouTube) They avoid this mistake in the remake. Instead of the chess scene, we have a dance sequence followed by some of the most impossible sex ever. Now, tip, if you're at a hotel, don't order the remake on the in-room movies and then have housekeeping walk in at the exact damn moment that scene takes place. They will think you have ordered something else and you will be trying to act like you don't see anything at all. "What, you mean this isn't The Lion King?" So, that's a drawback.



Then there's the ending and changing the ending is usually where you really piss off the purists. The 1968 one ends with Faye betrays Steve and he knew she would. The 1999 edition ends with Rene thinks Pierce has left her, then he really hasn't and we have a happy ending. Oh, I forgot the climax, which is very good.



By the way, if anyone knows John McTiernan, I still want to know how he stole the second painting. I listened to the commentary, he said that they eliminated a sequence explaining it, but I would like to know. Not to mention the art instead of the money gives the film a whole new level of interest and this is an art form based on spectacle. I get that the Faye Dunaway ending is sad and about the character, but I really don't care because at that point I was bored and pushing pause on my Roku remote every two minutes to see how much I had left. It's just one of those films I do not get and it's just the style, revolutionary in its days, hackneyed and tired in ours until Steven Soderbergh cleverly revived it for the Ocean's trilogy. Also, much like the Ocean's trilogy, this film gets a new layer of fun from the supporting cast notably Denis Leary and Frankie Faison as the cops working with Rene.

So, obviously, I've lost my mind, right? You probably love the original. Okay, tell me in the comments why the original is so much better. And why I hate Steve McQueen.

Also, just realized that everything I know about art comes from movies and TV. So, here's a video someone made from the Van Gogh episode of Doctor Who, which was written by Richard Curtis, who I wish would write more or at least let me know where to find his new stuff. So, again, if you know Richard Curtis, let him know.