My Life In Movies Flashes Before My Eyes: The King's Speech, 2010

So, earlier this year, I did an Oscar special on The King's Speech and I feel as if everything I said still stands so it seems redundant to go over it again, so find it here.

But, some thoughts, have you noticed Colin Firth's posture? Also, Colin Firth wants to be on Doctor Who. Why are we wasting time on River Song when Colin Firth wants to be on Doctor Who? It would be awesome. Maybe we could save it for the fiftieth anniversary. Now, what if there was some way to get him and the Tenth Doctor in the same thing? I could be happy for a month off that.


Obviously, I meant something else. Try to put Catherine Tate in it. Preferably written by Richard Curtis. Or I could write it, either way, really.

My Life In Movies Flashes Before My Eyes: The Invention of Lying, 2009

The Invention of Lying is one of those films that no one bothered seeing in the theater, but when you mention it to people they remember it was funny. I don't know if people didn't think it was funny or got offended or what, but come on it's a movie. Maybe this is one of those times I think something British is hilarious and no one else in America gets it. Anyway, it takes place in an alternate reality where no one in the human race has ever lied. Since we never learned to lie, there's no religion, no fiction and everyone says exactly what they mean, which makes people jerks. Also, Gervais' opening voice over is pretty hilarious.


Also, movies suck and Coke ads have to be very literal with the slogan "Coke, It's Very Famous." Also my favorite slogan "Pepsi: For When They Don't Have Coke." Yup, that's true.

Mark, played by Gervais, who also write and directed along with Matthew Robinson, figures out how to lie in a moment of desperation. Since no one else can lie, he can pretty much say any ridiculous thing he wants. Wanting to comfort his dying mother, he accidentally invents religion and delivers ten rules for getting into the afterlife on the back of two pizza boxes. I love the whole "Man In The Sky" thing and when you watch this movie be sure to keep an eye out for the signs on places, such as a chapel that is signed "A Quiet Place To Think About The Man In The Sky." He's also in love with Anna adorably played by Jennifer Garner, who struggles to understand what it is she likes about Mark. There are small parts with Tina Fey, Jeffrey Tambor, Rob Lowe, Stephen Merchant, Jonah Hill, Jason Bateman and Louis CK. Oh, and the scene with Stephanie March is hilarious. Everybody should try to write a scene with Stephanie March in their movie, I put forth this and super whore as evidence. I like this movie, it seems a little radical and though I don't know for sure if we're trying to push Atheism here, I don't really care, it's a movie and it's funny. I do stand by the basic thesis here, which seems to be that we're better because we lie. Lying actually makes us better people if we don't go too far, take the scenes with the suicidal Jonah Hill.

Questions, comments on Coke or Atheism? Let me know in the comments section. Also, I feel like I was a little short on clips here and well, you know how I am. Ricky Gervais on Extras pretending to be on Doctor Who.

My Life in Movies Flashes Before My Eyes: Sex and the City: The Movie, 2008

And now for a fairy tale of a decidedly different sort. Once upon a time, there was a series called Sex and the City about a writer named Carrie played by Sarah Jessica Parker. She was clearly in love with Detective Logan from Law & Order played by Chris Noth, who for some reason went by the pseudonym Big. Instead of resolving this like adults, they screwed around with this for years, causing me a lot of angst while I was mesmerized by the fashion and Charlotte becoming Jewish and what was Samantha's deal? My suffering ended after six seasons and it resolved like this. Oh, Samantha is in the clip so there will be nudity/sex, I can't help that, it's the name of the show.


Can I just mention I screamed, "Who the hell is JOHN?!" at the TV when that cell phone thing happened. I nearly had a heart attack/And all was well in the world. And then they made a movie. And I was excited. And of course, I went to see it because I'm a sucker like that even though I knew in my heart if there was a movie, it meant Carrie would have found a way to screw this up again.


And she did. Sure, go for the giant wedding, scare the guy you spent six seasons trying to win over and don't listen to him when he tries to explain! And why does she hire Jennifer Hudson as her personal assistant? Jennifer Hudson just pisses me off, okay? She thinks she'd be famous without American Idol and she made OPRAH wait. Who makes OPRAH wait? Presidents show up on time for OPRAH. Anyway, it's a bad job interview, too, "I want to fall in love." Any other job they would not give you a callback. Other than that, I love this movie. It is a perfect movie for following up a TV show because let's face it those are usually lame. And I do love the ending, I just about cried, I'm getting verklempt now, even the song is good, but otherwise you piss me off Jennifer Hudson. All films should have an ending scene as perfect as the one in the diner. They should also have scenes where people try on really pretty clothes if at all possible.

And now let me briefly turn my attention to the pile of crap that was Sex and the City 2. I'll grant you there were funny parts. I don't know why we needed that wedding at the beginning, not that I ever understood why the whole Stanford and Anthony relationship anyway. The scene where Samantha wears the same dress as Miley Cyrus was funny. I like the scene where Miranda and Charlotte drink, but we didn't need to go to Dubai for that. We could have done that in New York and you know what else? We didn't need to see Aidan. Why did she kiss Aidan? What? Life would have been so much better with Aidan? I could have gone the rest of my life never seeing Aidan again, okay?

Team Aidan, Team Big? Theories on why Detective Logan never mentions his police work in front of Carrie? Why does he never use his chauffeured car to do police work? Does Jennifer Hudson piss you off? That's not just me, right? Why, God, why did they make the sequel? Let me know in the comments section.

My Life In Movies Flashes Before My Eyes: Enchanted, 2007

Okay, so what does this have in common with the last film? Well, they both have the ever adorable Amy Adams. I wonder if she gets sick of people thinking she's adorable. This time she stars as Gisele, a Disney princess who thanks to an evil witch played by Susan Sarandon finds herself alone in New York, waiting for her prince to come rescue her.

She instead finds single dad, Robert, Patrick Dempsey who thinks she's crazy or at the very least extremely naive. She stays with he and his daughter and tries to help out. You know what's awesome about this movie? It takes everything you grow up to think is lame in Disney movies and makes it live action so it becomes awesome like this scene where Gisele tries to clean up the apartment.


Or when Gisele starts a full blown musical number in Central Park. Robert's reaction is the best part of this scene to me, I mean, the music's nice and all, but I always watch musicals and wonder how everyone knows the words.


It pays tribute to the Disney princess films we were all obsessed with at one time, but also updates them a little such as when Gisele has to save Robert from the dragon. It also features James Marsden as Gisele's prince and the great Idina Menzel as Robert's girlfriend. I love the twist at the end where she joins him in the animated world from the beginning of the film.


Anyway, it's a nice surprise of a film, having intelligence where you wouldn't expect it to. Like I said, I do love the homage to fantasy films of yore. Questions, comments, concerns, Disney princess preferences? Do you think Amy Adams is sick of being called adorable? Should she do a movie where she plays a serial killer so we're all scared of her? Let me know in the comments.

My Life In Movies Flashes Before My Eyes: Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, 2006

I have an odd relationship with NASCAR. My family watches it, I really have no interest, they dragged me along to the Atlanta Motor Speedway one time and I did homework. Yet since it happens around me, I get it through osmosis, like when I discovered most people do not try to clean their tires in slow traffic on the interstate or when I watched Cars and knew Lightning McQueen was going to blow up his tires when he only stopped for gas at the pit stop. I don't want to know these things, yet I do. This may seem like an out of the blue selection, but this is the finest film about NASCAR ever, even better than cars. It stars Will Ferrell as the out of control Ricky Bobby as he deals with setbacks following the arrival of French race car driver Jean Girard played by Sacha Baron Cohen. It also features Jane Lynch as his mom in a really great performance. Gary Cole, Michael Clarke Duncan, John C. Reilly, Molly Shannon, Leslie Bibb, Jack McBrayer and Amy Adams round out the cast.

It has the basic sports movie tropes with Ricky Bobby starting out on top of NASCAR. I've got to say Will Ferrell really nails NASCAR driver for some reason, something about his voice or the conviction in it as he says ridiculous things or maybe it's the now famous grace scene.

Or it ciuld be that the man seems to own sports movie. I also like Semi-Pro, right up until the part where the San Antonio Spurs lose. I keep trying to get them to have a Mega Bowl at the AT&T Center, but nobody's going for it. Anyway, Ricky Bobby loses his confidence and everything else and is pretty much about to hit bottom here in my favorite clip.

Ricky Bobby has to make a ridiculous journey back to the top, complete with learning to drive a live cougar, finding a new girl in Amy Adams and racing Jean Girard to the finish line on foot, which is a great scene that Carl Edwards later emulated in the clip below. There's really too much good in this movie to tell you everything. My favorite part of that whole sequence though is the Applebee's commercial in the middle of the wreck between Ricky Bobby and Jean Girard.

Anyway, let me know what you think. Questions, comments, Mega Bowl plans?